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Post by Tyler Legrand on Sept 22, 2013 15:50:40 GMT
come make fun of my "criticisms" lmao
"The extinction event was the result of global ecophagy, the cause of which was an error due to faulty safety protocols in medical nanotechnology used by volunteer workers in third-world countries." I almost dozed off reading this sentence, try cutting it in half
"Without plant life, the atmosphere is gradually deteriorating. Global temperatures are rising, causing flooding as what is left of the polar ice caps melt." I'd prefer reading this without most of the -ing words, i.e. the atmosphere gradually deteriorates; global temperatures rise, causing floods as...
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Post by asscat on Sept 22, 2013 16:01:36 GMT
hmmm thanks for those! appreciate the critique, tyler, i'll take that to heart
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Post by asscat on Sept 22, 2013 16:03:04 GMT
On August 14th, 2171, the last human being died.
She was from Gibraltar. She had no name.
The extinction event was the result of global ecophagy, the product of a flaw in medical nanotechnology breakthroughs. Contrary to the popular 'grey goo' theory, the process was one more of corruption than conversion. Every last living being's genetic code was irreparably altered, making reproduction impossible. Rampant mutation gave way to widespread destruction of the global ecosystem, countless organisms thrashing against each other, no longer able to feed, mate, or - eventually - even think.
Humans were not the last to die, but they were close. Even the nanorobots, the cause of the destruction, did not survive, eventually consuming each other as part of the same flawed process that initiated the extinction event.
There is nothing left but dirt and water.
In a decaying city, towering buildings cast shadows on streets cluttered with debris and corpses, a silent testament to a dead empire . A crow's nest, woven of straw and garbage, tumbles from the highest level of a rusting skyscraper, blown off by a gust of wind. There are no eggs inside of it, and there never were.
There is nothing left but steel and concrete.
Without plant life, the atmosphere deteriorates. Global temperatures rise, causing flooding as what is left of the polar ice caps melt. Waves crash against abandoned coastlines, leaving millions of rotting marine animals in their wake.
There is nothing left but sand and seashells.
A hidden cavern deep beneath the surface of Italy, never discovered by humans, has gone dark; no longer do the fungi within illuminate the walls with their sickly green glow. In the empty blackness, an underground stream flows, the bed covered in gold that no longer glitters.
There is nothing left but gemstones and precious metals.
No songs. No prayers. No wolf packs roaming through the forests. No crying mothers greeting their newborn child, no insects performing an elaborate mating dance.
There is nothing left but silence.
...And yet.
The sun still sets. The wind still blows. The rain still falls. For now.
Hundreds of millions of years until this system is no longer habitable.
Dirt and water. Steel and concrete. Sand and seashells. Gemstones and precious metals.
There is so much left here. So much room to build.
I think I will make something new.
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Post by asscat on Sept 22, 2013 16:03:04 GMT
hows that
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Post by Tyler Legrand on Sept 22, 2013 16:21:23 GMT
I want to be 'funny' and reply "utter garbage" but I'm too nice
Cool but one thing, I think "Hundreds of millions of years until this system is no longer habitable" could use another word, e.g. "Hundreds of millions of years remain...". Actually, I'd imagine it should continue the tone of the previous sentence: "Hundreds of millions of years still remain until..."
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Post by N4-PR on Sept 22, 2013 16:25:54 GMT
we don't even have ice here, let alone hockey The Dallas Stars?? holy shit how un-texan can one guy get you bring same to your state and bring shame to your ancestors you pretty much should just commit sudoku and end it all
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Post by Tyler Legrand on Sept 22, 2013 16:29:56 GMT
how un-texan can one guy get
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Post by N4-PR on Sept 22, 2013 16:34:28 GMT
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Post by asscat on Sept 22, 2013 17:01:58 GMT
how un-texan can one guy get dude everyone in texas hates the stars
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Post by Gorilla Tits on Sept 22, 2013 17:35:45 GMT
So you are aware of their existence
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Post by asscat on Sept 22, 2013 17:40:07 GMT
yes, the joke being 'we hate hockey in texas and our team is shit'
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Post by N4-PR on Sept 22, 2013 17:45:41 GMT
ignorance is not a joke
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Post by Special Agent Dr. Dana Scully on Sept 22, 2013 18:06:16 GMT
i like ur story can u add more sex scene
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Post by Special Agent Dr. Dana Scully on Sept 22, 2013 18:06:38 GMT
can u add choking when u jerk off
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Post by asscat on Sept 22, 2013 18:20:26 GMT
whats the difference
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