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Post by N4-PR on Jan 20, 2016 6:26:15 GMT
Mighty possibility that I will kill myself this year. With many passions accompanimenting unbridaled rage from stress both from school, home and work. Not to mention countless hour of aganizing pain and horrible diseases. This all on top of l the debt that makes me increasingly want to just end it all since there seems to be no future that I have any of obtaining.
Does anyone else encounter this insurmountable pain, stress and depression as much as me? Worse? Share your thoughts and opinions.
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Post by Puggalo4Lyfe on Jan 20, 2016 6:31:53 GMT
I don't trust anyone who hasn't tried to kill themselves at least 8 times.
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Post by N4-PR on Jan 20, 2016 6:35:58 GMT
Thats real rad and all but please leave the thread if you literally have no other reason to be in here other than to shit post
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Post by Puggalo4Lyfe on Jan 20, 2016 6:54:31 GMT
I was only sort of exaggerating and trying to lighten the mood. what I really meant was I don't trust people who never openly talk about a time in their life when they were really depressed. they come off as fake or just plain creepy. so yes, I've had similar feelings, just without the physical ailments (so far.) if I were my dad I would have killed myself years ago. that dude knows mental toughness. but watching him die year after year is emotionally taxing and it's only getting worse. it's getting to the point where I can't leave the house for more than about 2 hours, and even then I'm paranoid something's going to happen without me here. because of that it's really difficult to make any sort of irl friends, and the idea of dating anyone right now is laughable. I'm not going to kill myself, I would have done that a long time ago if I were going to do it at all, but yeah I feel an immense amount of pressure and loneliness sometimes. just remember it could ALWAYS get fu cking worse.
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Post by N4-PR on Jan 20, 2016 7:00:41 GMT
I just had another so badly last night I might have to be disabled for the rest of my life. I am going to talk to my doctors and see what they say. Judging by what they tell me is enough of a choice whether I give up on dreams and wishes in exchange for a couple of years left in my life before I wish to end it. So yes, it can get worse. It did two years ago and now it's too far to stop it anymore
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Post by Puggalo4Lyfe on Jan 20, 2016 7:20:50 GMT
obviously no one wants you to billy-goatin kill yourself. that would suck. but I don't know your situation and if it's as bad as you say I don't see how anyone could blame you. I've noticed some people are seemingly cursed health-wise. just one thing after another. at one point when my dad was in the hospital for over a month, he was sort of alluding to suicide, and I honestly had no idea what to say because I felt so bad for him. on one hand I don't want him to die, which feels kind of selfish, and on the other it might just be the option that makes the most sense for him. eventually he found some 'meaning' or at least a hobby to keep his mind off of being so miserable. I think you just have to find a way to not be so bitter and pissed off at your condition WHICH IS VERY OBVIOUSLY EASIER SAID THAN DONE and a lot of people don't accomplish it. if you truly only have a few years left, wouldn't it make sense to cut down on the things that are stressing you out and just find a decently comfortable way to survive?
where is russ I feel like russ will have something nice to say
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Post by N4-PR on Jan 20, 2016 7:30:45 GMT
I literally no idea why I seized at all, which is a concern. I was told " you are on this medication and will never seize while on it. So yes, there is something incredibly wrong that is not common whatsoever.
You say that as well but of the group of friends I have, none of them but one even made any attempt to help through my depression. The people that care that are related to me have no focus on the disease depression but depression as a statement like how my relatives exclaim "lol I have ocd!!!!"
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Post by Puggalo4Lyfe on Jan 20, 2016 7:40:13 GMT
yeah that's something else I learned from my dad. you really learn who your friends are when shit hits the fan. all of his best friends he had since highschool pretty much just dropped his ass. I don't know if that's a defense mechanism or what but I'd imagine the feeling of being totally alienated from everyone you thought cared has to be a terrible hate-breeding thing to feel.
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Post by Puggalo4Lyfe on Jan 20, 2016 7:48:33 GMT
I haven't had a drink in about 2 weeks and then this thread happened
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Post by 410757864530 DEAD COPS on Jan 20, 2016 8:21:07 GMT
im suicidal always my dudes ?
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Post by 410757864530 DEAD COPS on Jan 20, 2016 8:21:37 GMT
way to billy-goat up my sunglasses emoji you shit ass website
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Post by Special Agent Dr. Dana Scully on Jan 20, 2016 8:32:34 GMT
unlucky dude
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t'tool
Real Human Bean
Posts: 767
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Post by t'tool on Jan 20, 2016 10:33:08 GMT
You say that as well but of the group of friends I have, none of them but one even made any attempt to help through my depression. What are the sort of things they could do that would help? My mate (pretty much the only friend I see with regularity these days) is going through a tough time now and has severe anxiety and maybe depression. I'm billy-goating hopeless at being any sort of emotional support so I just try to hang out with him still and listen to his shit, giving detached advice to move the conversation along.
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Post by Patty O'Furniture on Jan 20, 2016 11:18:09 GMT
depression is scary, i dont think ive ever experienced it but it really seems like an instance where you should get some professional help maybe call one of those hotlines if you cant afford it right now or whatever
but yeah the seizures sound awful sorry mang
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Post by Assbong420 ~The Weeder~ on Jan 20, 2016 12:30:26 GMT
hey diehard, a couple things:
a) when you're depressed, it's normal to feel like noone around you gives a shit. now that *could* be the case, but also bear in mind that what you might be experiencing is a symptom of your mental issues, rather than actual neglect.
b) that being said, keeping distance from someon with depression might actually be a good thing. there are different kinds of support, and often the kind of support that people want is not the support that they actually need. furthermore, the latter is very difficult to understand without actual professional help, which is where psychologists and group therapy would come in if people could afford it. this applies to thetool's post aswell: sometimes people who are depressed tend to choose dragging those around them to their level rather than rising themselves up to everyone else's standard. I guess this is why psychologists insist that coming out of depression is a personal struggle, rather than a social one. it's like when someone is drowning and you reach to help them, but their instinct is to drown you instead to keep themselves afloat. or something. misery loves company etc
I guess what I'm saying is that people might seem distant not because they don't care, but because they're protecting themselves from being dragged down. there's also of course the very real scenario that they simply don't give a billy-goat but what I'm saying is that there are other explanations to what you're experiencing, be it because your mental condition is making you see things a certain way that doesn't correspond to reality, or that your friends and family are trying to keep a distance because it can actually be more healthy for everyone that way
c) your doctors are morons or there's something absurdly wrong in the way you're coming across to them. it's been years of misdiagnosing, how th billy-goat can't they get it right? now I'm normally pro-euthanasia, but in your case it really looks like some severe medical misconduct is causing you to suffer, not to straight accuse them of malpractice. even if they came and told you your pain is irreversible, their credibility is so far down the gutter at this point that I can't see how anyone should believe them. in this scenario, suicide is a dumbass move. now of course this is easy to say as i comfortably sit here pain-free, but it's how shit is presenting itself from how I see it
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