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Post by 410757864530 DEAD COPS on Sept 7, 2013 5:22:15 GMT
shove the pez up your ass and eat the dispenser
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Post by Tyler Legrand on Sept 7, 2013 6:44:31 GMT
Happily, the pez dispenser was actually made of pez. You are now on a pez-high.
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Post by Gorilla Tits on Sept 7, 2013 8:40:46 GMT
Find out where in the billy-goat you are
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Post by Tyler Legrand on Sept 7, 2013 9:31:34 GMT
You walk around to take in your surroundings. Your glowing underpants don't illuminate the area well at all, but they do illuminate you extremely well to anything else that might be in the area.
You hear a loud click above you, and flashes of lights pound your eyes as a ceiling-mounted security turret fires at you. Thanks to your pez high, you become Neo and dodge, taking cover. The bullets crack open the wall behind you, and proper light fills the room at last. Before your eyes could adjust to the light though, an unescapable vacuum clutches you, and you're thrown outside. You appear to be in the middle of a space battle.
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Post by Gorilla Tits on Sept 7, 2013 9:42:42 GMT
Create a space helmet using your cell phone and urine soaked underpants
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Post by Tyler Legrand on Sept 7, 2013 9:49:36 GMT
Somehow, done. It is a good thing too, because as we all know, urine protects you against chlorine gas attacks, so if the spaceships decide to begin chemical warfare, you're safe.
Fighters zip past you, ignoring you. You are also beginning to fall towards a nearby planet.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Sept 7, 2013 17:33:52 GMT
Try to grab on a passing ship
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Post by Tyler Legrand on Sept 7, 2013 17:59:18 GMT
You try to hang onto one, but due to your sheer enormity (or their sheer teeniness) you only succeed in crushing the poor pilot. Taking notice, the other ships open fire upon you, but to you their projectiles are less than mere pinpricks. You laugh like a pirate but nobody can hear you because you're in space.
Eventually they get the bright idea to concentrate their fire, angling you more towards the planet.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 7, 2013 18:16:00 GMT
Before you break atmosphere you should attempt to fart to see what happens
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Post by Tyler Legrand on Sept 7, 2013 18:27:16 GMT
As a last revenge, you shitblasted your last pez into the battalion of ships behind you. The high sugar content of the pez ignites the tiny ships immediately, and they explode one by one helplessly. You marvel at the fireworks as you hurtle through clouds with gathering speed.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Sept 8, 2013 9:09:51 GMT
Bend your body into that of a cannonball as you get ready to descend upon this planet.
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Post by Tyler Legrand on Sept 8, 2013 11:22:42 GMT
Your lessened surface area allows you to pierce the planet's crust, travel through the center, and out the other side. You continue travelling through space until you come across a gigantic tortoise a trillion times bigger than you are, carrying four mighty elephants on its back.
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Post by Special Agent Dr. Dana Scully on Sept 8, 2013 11:42:38 GMT
billy-goat it
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Post by Tyler Legrand on Sept 9, 2013 14:10:40 GMT
You impregnate the space tortoise. Ten years later you play space baseball with your space abomination son. You accidentally hit him in the eye. What do?
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Post by Special Agent Dr. Dana Scully on Sept 9, 2013 14:16:24 GMT
choke yourself to climax
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